Sunday, October 11, 2015

Untitled

I wish I could love you close
sorry
I can only love you from afar
if only you knew
this was meant for you
love means
never having to say you're
not sorry, I'm not sorry
because whatever this 
kinda thing is
that we got going
is the best kinda thing
I've had going
in a long time
and it feels so
goo_goo_
much closer
than I know
it is or can be
and I want you
to be
all right
with that
selfish...
I know
not
sorry
fiction 
(maybe)

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Tuesday, October 21, 2014

You Can't Hang a Giraffe

You Can't Hang a Giraffe.
Wit

What it means
I don't know
But.

Better than,
Failing At Death.

Another pebble in my shoe

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Monday, July 14, 2014

Pushover

You feel like a pushover when you stand there and the wind blows in your face. And you say nah, nah, again, in mih face so? Not today wind, you're hurting my cheeks into a frown. So you rail against the wind. Boxing with bright eyes and determination. But the wind has friends. The cloud is ominous turning dark like a kid wildly coloring with a black crayon. The rain pelts itself at you *pudow pudap*. Your spirit, or is it ego, continues the fight, manifesting in ways to express itself - value me, be thoughtful, see me as I am. The wind replies, you're a horrible student. The lesson is simple. See yourself, value yourself, think about and for yourself, and when you do, the cloud, rain and I will pass you by.

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Journal Entries

June
One simple kiss
My lips
on your lips
I lay next to you
Talk to your heart
Your eyes touch
Your hands say
Hug me, hold me tight
Make me feel all right
My breath
on your bare skin
What we do
Love wins

July
Roses are pink and red
They grow on your tree
They stretch across the earth
Like your love
Unencumbered and free

Violets are purplish blue
What I am
Is because of you

This is just a simple poem
I wrote at 5:03
Just to let you know
How much you mean to me

August
i wanna dance naked through your thoughts
i wanna lay like chocolate mint on your pillow
i wanna smile through your mind's eye
i wanna be the sweet wine dribble on your lips
i wanna shiver at the sight of you
i wanna be the sounds you close your eyes to
i wanna run as fast as i can
and slow around your heart and head
and back again
i wanna be in your every dream scene
i wanna escape into your touch
i'm delusional thinking you wanna too
i don't care
it's want i wanna
let me float
inside my teardrop
slowly falling from my face

September
I died a little today
I'm at a shop
Around the corner
Having a cup of black
At least you could have said goodbye
Why do I have to ask you why
Where did I go that led you
Saying you will never come back
That you really don't care
I chew the inside of my lip
I taste my blood
Like sickness in my mouth
I'm collapsing from the inside
Gnawing pain in my wrist
Body in a twist
I'm having those thoughts again
I think today will be the end
I can't settle on how to do it
A gun, pills
Jumping off a bridge
To go means to never come back
I wouldn't care but
I want to see you again
And if I leap
You win
But I'm a better player
I know the rules
I wrote them
But the rookie rises, surpasses
And I slouch on a counter stool
Eating two sugar cookies
Looking for my pride
At the bottom of a coffee cup
And the courage to leave the shop
What happens now
I go home and wait
Contemplate
Maybe you will come
Get your things
I didn't see this

October
i hate you
I hate you
I Hate you, Hate you
I HATE you
HATE you, HATE YOU
HATE, HATE
I HATE, HATE YOU
I HATE YOU
I HATE YOU
HATE, HAtE Hate you
hate, hate, i
i hate you
i i I
If only I could
Hate you
I Hate
Hate that
I LOVE you
so damn much

November
One simple kiss
My lips
on your lips
Ah hell no
One booty call
My blank
in your blank
just blanking, blanking
blanking, blanking
blanking

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Tuesday, February 11, 2014

It's My Face

My father thinks I love my black too much
Friends say I'm not black enough
White students told me I was not
like those blacks
Black students wondered
why I lived
the other side of the tracks

My sister put my hair in cornrow
My father yelled, fuck no
A part down the side
That's a respectable boy
Your name is not Troy or LeRoi

They stopped me on the street
to ask which parent was white
LA knew
I must be part Korean or Indian
Paris anointed me
French and even Mongolian
Are you Arab? Muslim?
I thought you were Dominican, says NY
My ex, she said, you know,
you could pass for Puerto Rican

Which part of Africa are you from,
asked the African man who sat
next to me on the train as
we rode through Italy

They're still guessing,
asking,
wanting to know

I think there's a Pacific Islander thing about your face
We're intrigued we can't figure out your race
Every possible combination flies out of their mouth

I think you're just a little black, if at all
No, you're just a black boy from the south

They see what they see
And that's okay
They need a box, a bag
A solid check mark on a form

But
I will tell you this
I walk pridefully
I don't need a sewn on badge
Because I know
I'm a Bago Trini

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Brother

Through thick and thin
Me & you, my better twin
The skinny and fat
years
Fights and fun, laugh tears
Shakey's pizza, soccer
Fishing, tennis camp
Summers in Toronto
Caracas travel stamp

Arcola library
My paper route
Your paper route
Our crushes, first cars
College, frat
Georgetown bars

We worked and worked
Remember that second job
we both had at night
that would never end
Was it telemarketing

Well, life got serious
We drifted apart
And we could never
find our way back
to that new start

But you've been with me
Everywhere I went
You who moves like Superman
While me, Clark Kent

I'm so blessed today
Dear God, I win
I have my brother
yes, again

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For Christmas

All I want for Christmas
is ham baking,
pastelles making,
poncha creme,
and the smell of sorrel boiling
on the stove.

All I want for Christmas
is sweet bread, holiday cookies,
drunk black cake,
and butter bread by the loaves.

All I want for Christmas
is children playing,
family praying,
eating, drinking, laughing,
and rejoicing.

What I want
is peace
between husband and wife,
and brother and sister.
Neighbors behaving
Young and old respecting
each other, and the earth.

I want all to have good health;
the honor to reach old age,
and the blessing to afford it.

I want leaders to lead
Teachers to teach
Students passionate-about something
People to speak their truth,
live their best life,
and know their heart's desire.

I want the world
to renew its contract with kindness.
Please
I'm Sorry
Excuse Me
Thank You

This Christmas
give me a song of joy
to lift the heart
of every girl and boy.

All I want
is to be home
because there's no place like home,
home, home.

While you line the cupboard shelves
Wait for Santa and his elves
Celebrate the birth of Christ
Forgive yourself
Live in gratitude, faith
Love
and dream, dream
bigger than you know.

That's all I want.

Wait,
dat ain't all.
I want a wifey
and an old year's night date.
And a Stag right now
Yuh hearing me?

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SEX TALK

I wanna talk to you about s-e-x
Sex
Sex
is one of the greatest acts of your life
It got you here
by a pair
of freak monsters
You may prefer to call them
Mummy and Daddy

But here you are
breathing, thinking,
moving about in the world because of it
And now you want it too
all the damn time

Are you sure?
It changes your life forever
Forever
[you know that apple thing]

And when you’re in it,
you know in it
Watch out
Because it seems

When we have it
Where we have it
How we have it
How it’s had upon us
Why we have it
How we struggle with
holding onto it or not
Who we tell or don’t tell
If we’re having it or not having it
Why we’re not having it
And when we had it last

Is everybody’s fucking business
Or so it seems

Well,
let me just say this
If you’re gonna have it,
and you're gonna have it
be careful about it
Near-misses
Infections
Disease
Death it brings
Sorrow, anger
Pain, a sheet stain
OK let's look on the bright side
Also joy, fantasy
Fun and ecstasy
It brings life
which is a gift
It brought you her
and you're a gift

Sometimes we’ve had enough
Or so we tell ourselves
Until we get it, and
We’re addicted all over again
We possess and obsess about it
Chase it daily
We want it all the time
or is that just men?

You know, what they say right
men think about it every 7 seconds
and women have like 7 orgasms everyday at work
or maybe that's just a woman I know
so who's really having more fun
men or women

7 secs
You know,
I’m thinking about it now
As I read this poem to you
And you’re either wanting it,
or not wanting it, too
And maybe you’re thinking about me and you
Or not
I’m cool with that

hmm sex
It creates a bond
Tears us apart
Exposes us
Makes us feel powerful
Surprises, shocks
Takes and gives
It makes us run away
And stay around
It finds us lost
And it’s like we’re found
(Exhale) ya got a cigarette

It has us questioning everything else
Makes us think of nothing more
Brings us shame
And glory
Gives us a story
A truth and a lie
An alibi

It’s dirty and nasty
Soft and demure
It’s a trade, profession
[Tobago summer boys, Tobago summer boys]
A duty, a chore

It has us on an endless search
And makes us say I do
It keeps us up late at night
And puts us fast to sleep

We sometimes wonder, can’t it get any better
Or why it’s so damn sweet
We want it with others
And ourselves
We’re not always discreet

On the bed, in the car
At your granny's house
In the shop, on the bus, in the park
Some like it in the light
Some, only in the dark

Others want you to watch them
On their webcam [you gotta pay]
Or from their window [uh uh you gonna pay]

We love to hear others are getting it
We hate to hear that too
And when you don’t talk about it
We wanna know…what you do

Man, I choke d chicken
What else, shhh

We wanna know for sure
If you like girls
or boys
or girls and boys
or boys and boys
or girls and girls
or boy-girls and trans girls
and bi girls
Do you want it strange
Or normal noise
With costumes and toys

I gotta question
No judgment, no judgment
How come more straight men
are getting their butts licked?
Erogenous? Erogenous
hmm must be the porn in my inbox

Sex tells us who we are
And says nothing at all
A noun, adjective, a verb
Sex, sexy, sexting
We confuse it
for other things
Take it for granted
Expect a ring
Have it rough
Play it sweet
Be an ape
All hands and feet

With sex we play
You know what we play
The power card
The make-up card
The trap you card
The like you card
The hate you card
The get back at your best friend card
The I’m feeling depressed card
The high card
I’m horny as hell card
I’m bored as fuck card
I don’t even need a card I just want it card

Cards
Ain't you tired of playing cards

What about love
What about that

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